Experiencing Racism at Work or School: When It Starts Affecting Your Wellbeing

Not all experiences of racism are same or even obvious.

Sometimes it can be someone asking, "Where are you really really from?" for the hundredth time.

Someone repeatedly mispronouncing your name after you've corrected them. It's hearing jokes about your culture, religion, or accent that are made normal in name "just having fun." Or “dark humor”.

it's feeling overlooked, interrupted, or treated differently without being able to explain exactly why.

You may even find yourself wondering, "Am I overreacting?" or "Maybe they didn't mean it like that." But when these experiences happen repeatedly, they can begin to affect your wellbeing in ways that aren't always obvious.

One of the first signs is that the experience stays with you long after it's over.

You might replay conversations in your mind, thinking about what you should have said differently or wondering whether you misunderstood what happened.

If this sounds familiar, it's worth paying attention to. Our minds often revisit experiences that felt emotionally significant, especially when we didn't feel safe or able to respond in the moment.

Many people also find themselves working harder to prove they belong. You may feel pressure to perform perfectly, avoid making mistakes, or change parts of yourself to fit in. Over time, constantly feeling like you have to prove yourself or earn acceptance can become emotionally exhausting. It isn't just the experience itself that's draining—it's the ongoing effort of trying to anticipate, manage, or recover from it.

If something hurt you, it matters. You don't have to convince yourself that it "wasn't a big deal" simply because someone else didn't notice it or because the comment seemed small. Repeated experiences of being treated differently can affect your confidence, your sense of belonging, and how safe you feel in places where you spend so much of your time.

It's also important to remember that someone else's prejudice says far more about them than it does about you. When people make assumptions based on your race, ethnicity, culture, or religion, those assumptions are a reflection of their beliefs—not your worth. That can be difficult to remember when these experiences happen repeatedly, which is why self-compassion is so important.

Where possible, it can also help to think about boundaries. Sometimes that means speaking up. Other times it may mean limiting your time around people or situations that leave you feeling consistently drained. There isn't one "right" way to respond. Your safety, wellbeing, and circumstances all matter.

It can also make a difference to spend time in places where you feel accepted and understood. Whether that's with friends, family, colleagues, or community groups, having spaces where you don't have to explain yourself can help restore a sense of belonging that repeated experiences of racism often take away.

If these experiences are beginning to affect your mood, sleep, confidence, relationships, or daily life, you don't have to carry them on your own. Talking with a therapist who understands the emotional impact of racism can help you process these experiences, make sense of your reactions, and develop ways to care for your mental wellbeing while staying true to yourself.